don't

you absence will probably kill me, you know

I can't write anymore. I can't throw my soul out of me into  words. it is like an enormous emptiness I cannot fill. I hopelessly wish for something to do. it is never enough. work vanishes between my hands and time did not have passed. you are not here yet. and soon you'll never be. I push back the tears. I miss home. I'm sick of this. but I don't want it to be over too fast. summer will end in a blink, I sense it with every emotional cell of my body. I'm afraid that we will never be the same again. I'm afraid of being left alone. loneliness haunts me. it will break my soul eventually. it is already cracking

AND THEN I WISH FOR A HOUSE JUST LIKE MY SOUL

EMPTY

I thought you could fix me.

The worst thing is to come home to an empty house. The worst thing is to lie down in a cold bed at night. No. The worst thing are the thoughts that keep haunting my mind and the dreams that incarnate my deepest fears.

My soul is broken. My body was hit, thrown into the ground, but it healed. My soul did not.

I want to sleep. I desperately want to sleep. But the thoughts...

You used to be my dreamcatcher.

You cannot fix me anymore. You never could. And yet, I'm still hopeful. At least, please, please, don't break what's left of me.

I can't walk without crutches. Sorry if I made you mine.